Good Night My Love
by monkeywarriorsasunaru
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke have fought for the last time. Sasuke has come to realize what is wrong with him, but life is never that simple. SasuNaru/LEMON/love/hurt/pain/Self Harm/ Angst.
1. Coming Home

I always loved Naruto. I may have not realized it, but it was always here. Itachi is dead. When I killed killed him all I could think was Naruto will be upset. He had always attempted to keep me on the right path, and that is how we ended up here.

Months ago we fought. We were both near death, and I watched him purposely not dodge my attack. Once again my hand was deep with in his chest. I could feel his heart beat. I knew I had messed up. I could hear my heart beating in my ears. I looked at him. He was smiling. That moron was smiling. He coughed up blood and looked me in the eye.

"Is this what you needed? Will you come home?"

My vision had begun to blur. I could see his eyes begin to flutter shut. I pulled my hand from his chest and attempted to pick him up, but he had beat my ass. I couldn't move. I pulled him to my chest as I began to fall to my knees. I was cradling the man I love, and he was dying. The rain had begun to poor. I had no idea if anyone was around, but I started to scream. I was screaming for help. Not for me. Help him. Help Naruto. Eventually some one did come, and they did help him. They saved him.

When we both woke up in the hospital a few days later I would spend my nights watching him sleep. I could never forget his face even if I tried. The nightmares began the moment we were sent home from the hospital. I would dream of having no control. My body would move on it's own and I would kill him. I would wake to Naruto staring at me from the door way. We were in the Uchiha complex, but my family no longer haunted me. I had brought this on my self. One night, two weeks ago, I woke screaming. Naruto entered my room.

"Why do you scream my name?"

All I could say was, "I love you."

He turned away and left. So here we are now.

We are being held captive. I have a choice to make. Me or him. I can hear Naruto screaming. He is telling me to live. I am looking at him. I whisper "I love you." I look at our captors.

"Me. Kill me not him."

I am smiling looking at him. I am not sure when the death blow will come, but I know I made the right choice. A long blade speared my body, and he screamed out. I guess there is no way we can both get out now. I can hear a commotion, but I can't focus on the noise. All I can see is Naruto fading from my vision, and pray the commotion is his rescue.


	2. Waking Up

I woke up to blinding white light. I did not ever expect to wake up at all. All I could remember was Naruto screaming. He was screaming at me at our captors. Why was that moron screaming? Where is he now. I sat up quickly looking for him. Naruto jumped from his seat at the window seal.

"Hey, Asshole! Why are you sitting up? Your injured."

"Naruto.." I whispered.

I let my head fall back to the pillow. All this pain is worth it as long as he is okay. Naruto huffed with frustration, and sat back in his seat. He was staring out the window. I thought for a moment that our relationship was back. I thought that he may have forgiven me, but he can barely look at me. And I am not going to say anything to him. I already broke down and told him I love him. What else would I need to do. Naruto turned and glared at me. He narrowed his eyes. I chuckled not out loud. I plastered on my smirk.

"What ya staring at moron?"

"You! You damn Bastard!"

"Hn.."

"Don't grunt at me!"

"What do you want to say?"

"Just why Sasuke?"

"Why what Dobe?"

Naruto grunted in frustration. "Why? Why did you say you love me? Why did you tell them to kill you? Why after everything. You personally tried to kill me. Multiple time. Sasuke! You! You hate me! Why would you say you love me? What do you want from me?"

I felt my mask drop. His eyes were boring holes into me. I could feel pain radiating in my chest. He is mostly right. I tried to kill him. I did. I tried to kill the man I love. Am I really that messed up. He will never love me back because I am a dick. Let's face it I am one of the worst human beings on planet earth. He will never love me. I hurt him worse than anyone else.

"Naruto." I finally looked at him.

He was shocked. I tried to cover the emotion out of my voice, but I failed. His eyes were wide.

"Naruto. I... I am.."

Sakura walked into the room. She is always there when I would prefer her not be. Naruto looked over to her. I could not take my eyes off of him. He actually looked disappointed to see her. It took a bit for me to pull my mask back up.


	3. I Failed You

I am unsure when I fell asleep, but I was dreaming. I had my hands around Naruto's throat. He was smiling up at me. I could not get my hands from squeezing. I was begging him to kill me. He had a blade in his hand, and I wanted him to use it.

"Please, Naruto, please kill me. You have a weapon. Use it."

Naruto's grin widened as the light left his eyes. I was crying and screaming his name. I was wokwn by a hand covering my mouth. I sat up quickly throwing the hand off of me.

"Sh. I don't need the nurses knowing I am here."

I was surprised to see Naruto. His blue eyes were staring me down. He was gauging my reaction to him being there. I let my emotions show, and I hung my head in sadness. I could hear him gasp.

"Keep screaming my name like that someone might think I'm dying in here."

I looked up to him. He may not have known it, but that hurt.

"Oh.. That's what you dream about."

I dropped my head again.

"Why would that bother you? You have tried to kill me multiple times."

I balled my fists. I could feel my shoulders hunch.

"Or is it only a problem if someone else is killing me? Does it have to be you?"

"Naruto.."

"Why did you tell them to kill you Sasuke?"

"I..."

"Why didn't you finish the job and kill me? You let someone heal me."

I looked up. He had tears in his eyes.

"Why did you change your mind? Or was it just not right?"

I could see the tears begging to fall. Damn it.

"Was I going to easily for you? Sasuke are you just waiting for the right time? Do you want me to get close then you betray me again?"

I wasn't supposed to stand, but I needed to. I slowly got out of bed. I could see the shocked expression on his face. I wasn't sure if it was because I was standing or the tears in my eyes. I took a few steps towards him. Naruto put his hands up telling my not to come any closer.

"Please Naruto."

Even I was surprised on how broken it sounded. He dropped his hands. I started to stumble. Naruto stepped forward and grabbed my hand to keep me up. When I was steady again he stepped in front of me. He was standing six inches from me. I grabbed him and pulled him to my chest. I could hear his shocked gasp. His tears were staining my shirt.

"Naruto... I.. I am so sorry... I just... Naruto... please.. I failed you..."

When I was done he returned the hug. I began to sob like a child. I haven't felt like this since my clan was killed. I felt my knees go weak. I began to fall, but he caught me. He was holding me tightly. I could feel his strong arms around me. He walked me to bed. After I crawled in he grabbed my hand. He still would not look me in the eyes. I started taking deep breaths to get my emotions under control.

"One day you'll tell me about your dreams, but for now get some sleep."

With that he left through the window. All I could do is watch him leave.


	4. My Dreams

I did not see Naruto for the remaining week I was in the hospital. The nightmare were steadily getting worse. Naruto had began to speak in my dreams. Each night Sakura would come running in and ask me if Naruto was there. She would try to speak to me, pretending that she did not see my tears. After the third night she stopped coming in. I was steadily getting less sleep. When I was woken by the dreams I would begin to panic. I would pull my own hair. I felt like I needed to gouge my eyes out to un-see what I just saw.

Naruto came to the hospital to walk me back the complex. He did not speak a word to me the entire way there. He would not even glance my direction. I could here the words of hate he received in the street. I was steadily getting more angry. When some one threw a rock at him I almost completely lost it. I turned to kill who ever did it, but Naruto grabbed me and shook his head.

"Come on, Ass Hole, I have ramen at the house and I'm hungry." He yelled.

"Hn.."

I followed him the rest of the way. When we made it to the complex Naruto went straight to his room. It appeared as none of the complex had been touched since we left. I stood in the kitchen and watched him walk away. This stand off was getting worse and worse. After he slammed the door I decided that I wanted to talk to him. I made my way and went to knock. Before I could knock I heard it. He was sobbing. It was broken sobbing. I let my head fall to the door. It was all my fault. I broke the young man. I fell to my knees and closed my eyes. I wanted to comfort him, but it would only piss him off. He hated to be seen as weak. This wasn't weak, it was human. I knew it was all my fault. I heard him gasp. The sobbing slowed down. I tried to listen more intently. I heard heard him gasp again. I had an idea of what was going on, but I didn't want to make assumptions. When he groaned this time. I couldn't stand outside the door anymore. I heard another gasping moan, so I slammed the door open. He was sitting on his bed. He had taken his jacket off. He was sitting in his fishnet shirt with a blade pressed to his wrist. He threw the blade down and stood quickly. I could tell he was woozy.

"Naruto!"

"Sasuke! Get the fuck out now!"

"Naruto."

"No. It is none of your business. Just leave."

"No. Why?"

Naruto went to walk out of the room. I grabbed him arm. He shot me a glare more terrifying than mine. He snatched his arm out of mine, and walked to the bathroom. He slammed the door behind him. I picked the bloody blade off the floor and went to my room.

I couldn't believe What I had just seen. I broke him. I placed the tip of the blade into my finger and watched the blood well up. My family is dead. I killed my brother. I broke the man I love. I drove him to mutilating himself. Why would he do that? What could he get from it? Why would he hurt himself. I watched the blood well up as I pressed it further into my finger tip. It was clearing my mind. I was interested to feel what he felt. I pulled my seat pants down to my knees. I pushed one leg of my boxers up to show my thigh. I pressed the blade into my skin and quickly pulled across. Gasp! Wow that was interesting. It felt right. I deserved to hurt. I deserved this pain not Naruto. I pulled it across a few more time. The blood was pulling on my sheets. I decided that was enough and slid the blade under my pillow. I quickly wrapped my leg and pulled my pants up. I let my head hit the pillow. I was exhausted. I slipped quickly into sleep.

The dream started like the rest. I was standing in front of Naruto.

"Naru, run! Get away from me."

"Come home."

"I will. I will, but please get away from me now."

"I'm not leaving with out you."

He stepped closer to me. I felt my hand activate the chidori. "Naruto, please leave. I don't want to hurt you."

"I'd die for you."

"You don't have to. I'll come home. Just leave me here."

"Sasuke you know I can't."

Naruto rushed me. My hand was through his chest. I was screaming. He smiled at me. The same sile as always. He pushed up his jacket sleeve.

"I can stop now. I'm dying, so I don't have to feel pain anymore."

"Naruto, please don't die. No. I love you."

"Sasuke, I could never love you back."

When he said that the light left his eyes. He was dead. I killed him again. I fell to my knees pulling him to my chest. I was begging him not to die. I was screaming his name trying to wake him up. I woke up to Naruto screaming my name. When I saw those blue eyes I lunged at him. I held him tight. I never wanted to let go.

"They're getting worse aren't they."

I shook my head yes, and grabbed tighter.

"Tell me about them"

I looked at him. He was serious. We both sat on my bed sitting across from each other. He was calm. I took a few deep breaths ready to relive my dream. I explained everything to him. Every detail of the dream he just woke me from. He kept his face blank, even when I couldn't.

"Why does that bother you? It's not the first time you put your hand through my chest. It's not the first time." His face was still blank. "I'm waiting to wake up one night and you have a blade pressed to my throat."

"Naruto. I..I know you'll never trust me,... but it's not like that... not at all. I was wrong, so wrong. All my life I have been wrong. I.. I failed you. I regret the la.. last five years of my life. I regret almost every moment... The only things that are worth remembering is when I would see you smile, and I have realized those moments are most likely fake. My life.. My life Naruto is worth nothing. I am worth nothing. I tried to kill you. When you were dying Naruto it hit me. It hit me right in the chest that if you die I am too. That if you weren't in my life it is not worth it. The little moments that make my life mean something is you, and I killed you. I personally took the small amount of light in my life and dimmed it. So every night I watch the light leave your eyes and my life. Every night I slowly die. I never have control. My body moves on it's own. My body removes the only thing I love. I kill the only thing I love. Naruto I kill you every night and I can never stop it. And you always tell me that you will never love me. Which I know. I know I will never deserve your love, but this is the last thing you say to me. It is the last thing I ever hear from you beautiful lips. I don't deserve to live. Naruto. I should be dead."

He pulled me to his chest and ran his fingers through my hair. He fell back with me laying on his chest. He grabbed my hand and pushed my hair from my eyes. He was running his thumb over my knuckles. I slowly closed my eyes and drifted to sleep. It was the first time in a long time I did not dream. It was peaceful.


	5. The Festival

I woke to an empty bed. I'm not sure when Naruto got up, but the bed is still warm. I can't believe I cried. I cried and whined to Naruto. Now he will never respect me. I deserve to hurt. I repeated whet I had done the night before and went to take a shower. Once I was done I stood in the kitchen debating on food. Naruto had walked into the kitchen with me.

"I'll try."Naruto sat at the counter. "I will try to become your friend again. Is that enough for you?"

I almost grunted, but I didn't. "Yes. Thank You."

"It's not for you. I have dreamed of the day you would tell me you love me, but it hurts. This is for me. I want to become your friend then maybe I can enjoy it. Maybe we can move further, but first we need to be friends."

I was shocked, and it was shown on my face.

"Let's go get ramen. You don't have any food."

When I chuckled Naruto smiled and turned to the door. I was going to have to work my way up from the bottom. First was me treating him to ramen.

Over the next few weeks I got closer to Naruto. We would go for ramen at least once a week. We sparred no almost everyday. I cook us both meals, and we do not silently eat. We actually have conversation. There is a festival today, and I want to take Naruto to it. When I got out of the shower I realized my legs were badly scarred. I would have to wear pants. Naruto had not stopped either. That much I knew. I could hear him sometimes late at night. It was no where as bad as it used to be, and it was less often. I would do it every night. I decided until Naruto is completely happy I will feel this pain. I wrapped a towel around my waist thinking I could get a Kimono to cover my legs. With the towel still wrapped around my waist I stepped into Naruto's room. He was still asleep, so I shook him awake. I know he was up last night calming me after my nightmare, but I wanted him to join me in buying our clothes. When Naruto jumped up my hand left my towel. It slipped to the ground as I got into a defensive stance. Naruto looked up and saw it was me. He looked at my legs in question, but he didn't say anything. I grabbed my towel to cover up.

"Would you like to go to the Spring Festival with me tonight?"

"Sure, but why wake me now?"

"I wanted to go clothes shopping. Is that okay?"

"Yeah let me hop in the shower."

When he stood I could see him staring at my legs. He wanted to see if what he saw was real. I quickly went to my room to dress. I wrapped my thighs. My cuts had made it to both legs. I pulled on the rest of my clothes, and I waited on Naruto in the living room. We had lived together now for a few months. I knew once the shower cut off he needed five minute, and the shower just cut off. Naruto came bounding down the stair, and we went shopping.

We both bough kimonos. Mine was black with midnight blue trim. Naruto's was also black with orange trim. We both went home ate, and got dressed for the festival. When Naruto grabbed his wallet I pulled it from hi hand and sat it on the counter.

"I just want your company. It's on me."

Naruto blushed. Oh my Kami he blushed. I made Naruto blush. AAAHHHH!We left the house as the sun was going down. Naruto's eyes were wide with excitement. He ran to the first booth. I bought him something. We went to every booth in the festival, but he did not always want something. It was all little things. We ate at a few different booths tasting many things. Just before midnight we went to our training grounds. We were both laying in the grass as the fire works went off. I could hear Naruto's oh's and ah's.

"Naruto, It's the same every year."

"I've never been."

I sat up. "What?"

"I've never been to any festival. Thank you for bringing me."

Then Naruto smiled. It was a true bright smile. I could feel my life light up around him. Next thing I knew I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him with the fireworks above us. I could feel the need. I didn't just want to kiss him I needed it. I leaned over him to look in his eyes. I closed my eyes and let my forehead press to his.

I sighed. "Naruto, can I kiss you? I know I have not made..."

Naruto began to kiss me. I put one hand on his hip and one behind his head. Naruto wrapped his arms around my neck. Our lips were moving in sync. I traced his lip with my tongue. He gladly opened up. I traced the contours of his mouth with my tongue. Naruto began to moan. I put myself between his spread legs, and started kissing on his neck. Naruto began to arch to give me more room. When I stopped and looked at him I gasped. He looked amazing. His face was flushed. His lips were bright from our kiss. His hair was disheveled from my hands. He was gorgeous. Then Naruto wrapped his legs around my waist and kissed me again. I pushed up his kimono and ran my hands up and down his thighs. Naruto was moaning lewdly. I backed away and stood.

"Let's finish this at home."

Naruto grabbed my hand and we walked home. I started kissing him outside the door. I pushed his kimono all the way up, then picked him up. Naruto wrapped his legs around me again. I got the door open and started sucking on his neck He arched his back and we began to fall. I cushioned his fall and got between his legs again. I pulled away the kimono. I latched onto his nipple and began sucking and nipping it. Naruto was getting louder. I sat back pulling away my kimono. We both pulled off our boxers. Our bare erections were rubbing together. I could feel grunts escape my lips. Naruto was a moaning mess.

"Naruto.. can hhm can we go further?"

"Hm Hm Sasuke hm. Please."

I placed the fingers to his mouth. He pulled them into his mouth and began to suck. I pulled them away with a pop. Naruto looked amazing under me. I placed one finger at his entrance and slowly pushed in. Naruto winced. I began to work it in and out. I would feel him relaxing and stretching. I then added a second finger. Naruto Gasped in pain. I wrapped my lips around the head of his erection. I began to suckle it and lap up the pre-cum. Naruto began to arch into my mouth as I took more of him in. When I found his prostate he screamed. Naruto's body couldn't decide weather to thrust into my mouth or buck down on my fingers. I deep throated him while pushed the third finger in. I began gently rubbing his prostate. He was moaning my name. It was the best sound in the world. Naruto whined when I pulled my fingers away. I slicked up my cock and put his legs on my shoulders. I placed the tip at his entrance.

"Are you ready Naru-chan?"

Naruto moaned in approval. I slowly pushed my way in. I stopped when I was all the way in. I waited on Naruto to get adjusted. Once he was I began to slowly thrust. I was slowly grinding on his prostate. Naruto wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled my down to him. He began to kiss me, but stopped once my Thrusts picked up. I was pounding on his prostate, and he was screaming my name. I wrapped my hand around his leaking cock. I began to move in time with my thrusts. When he came he screamed my name arching his back. His head hit the floor has streams of cum painted our chests. As he tightened around me I began to thrust faster. After a few moments I dropped my head to his chest whispering his name. It was the best orgasm I have ever had. I was repeatedly trying to catch my breath as I pulled out of him. I rolled us over where his head was on my chest. We both fell into a deep sleep on the floor.


	6. My Death

I had woken woken up in many situations, but this was the best so far. I could see a blonde mop of hair on my chest. I could smell his out doors and orange scent. I felt a small hand on my thigh. It was tracing the scars on my legs. My muscles tightened on their own, and his hand stopped.

"Sasuke, some of these are really deep.."

"Hn."

"Why?"

"I deserve to hurt."

"Oh, Sasuke..."

"Ssshhh..."

Naruto crawled on top of me. His big blue eyes were shining with tears. "Is it my fault?"

"No, Naruto, why would you think that?"

"You came back. After I chased you for years, you came back. When you got here you told me you love me. I have dreamed of you saying those words for over five years, but when you did I rejected you. I rejected you countless times. I shoved all your mistakes in your face." He began to cry.

I ran my fingers through his hair. "Hey, Hey. None of this is your fault. Never think it's your fault. You make it all better."

Naruto buried his face into my chest. He gripped my chest tightly. I ran my hand up and down his spine. I lifted him and carried him to the shower. When I set him down on his feet he started to fall. When he regained his balance I filled the tub. I sat in the warm water and held out my hand for Naruto. He took a seat between my legs laying against me. Naruto's hands were on my knees, and his head on my shoulder. The warm water was soothing our tired muscles. Over the past few months we had been getting closer and closer. I will never forget the first time Naruto kissed me. We were arguing about food.

"Ramen! You Bastard!"

"I want to eat a real meal."

"Ramen is a meal."

"Damn it Naruto it's not healthy for you!"

He was watching my mouth as a spoke. He let a smile grace his lips before he grabbed the back of my head, pulling my hair, smashing our lips together. His other hand had gripped my shirt trying to pull my body to his, but a counter was in the way. When he let me go I walked around the counter and puled him into my arms. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled his body close. Naruto wrapped his arms around my neck. The second kiss was just as heated as the first. Now I had my hand curled around his manhood listening to his panting in my ear. He grasped my thighs tightly trying to get more friction from my hand. I grasped a handful of hair, and gently pulled his head back exposing his neck. I was giving him lazy kisses in time with the lazy pumps of his cock.

"Sasuke, please. More."

I complied. How could I refuse such beauty.

Months had passed by since we became partners. We had both stopped our cutting, and are happy. Naruto and I made our way to the Hokage tower to accept a new mission. We would Make our way to the village hidden in the mist to find an S Class Missing Nin. It wasn't typical to only send two people, but with it being us we typically do things on our own. Naruto and I left first thing the next morning in our Ambu gear. We quickly made our way through the woods. Half way there we decide to stop for camp. Naruto is setting up a barrier for protection while I build a fire. I had the fire built and had fish cooking. Naruto has been gone for half an hour. I knew that he was very capable as a ninja, so I should not worry, but he is the man I love. I start searching for chakra signatures. There were six around Naruto, but Naruto's chakra is very low. I began to run to his side. Naruto had 8 rods pinning his boy to the ground. I grasped one rod attempting to pull it out, but I could feel my chakra draining. I turned to look at our attackers. There were nine of them. When the rods started to fly I snapped into action. I was dodging and blocking for Naruto. I quickly began taking out attackers. I was making my way through the men I was facing as one made their was to Naruto. I caught sight of him from the corner of my eye. Once again my body just moved. I put myself between the blade and Naruto. I dropped to my knees covering Naruto's uper body with mine the best I could with the rods. It was getting harder and harder to breath. I pulled the blade from my chest and slit the man's throat. The remaining man was throwing rods once more. I was not able to dodge, but I threw the blade skewing the man. He was dead before he hit the ground. I was pinned with my back to the ground. Naruto was looking at me with tears streaming from his eyes.

"There was only one... He wrapped his arms around my waist... Sasu, he looked like you. I thought it was you.." He was sobbing.

"Shh. It's okay." My free hand started to wipe away his tears. I summoned a snake requesting help.

"This is my fault. Again.."

"Hey. I sent for help. There is no reason you won't be saved."

"I can't just let you die. Sasuke I love you."

My eye lids were heavy. "I know, but Naru I'm bleeding out. I sent the fastest snake."

I am having a hard time catching my breath. "If I don't make it, Naru," he sobbed out "I need you to know how much I love you. I would not have let you taken the blade. You are my light. Naru-chan. I love you. Good Night My Love"

My eyes were shut. I could hear him sobbing. He was begging me to open my eyes. I just couldn't. They were to heavy. I was feeling so cold, until I was hot. I felt like I was melting.

"This must be hell."

"No, child this is my home. I like it hot."

"Kyubi?"

"Just stay still till some one comes to help."

"Don't let him over do it. If he dies none of this is worth it."

"I know Sasuke, Sh."

I woke up again in the hospital. It was dark and I couldn't see. My chakra was being restrained. I started to panic. I wanted to make sure Naruto was alive. I was trying to throw off my blankets. I was trying to crawl out of my bed. I light flicked on and I saw those blue eyes by the door. I can relax now.


End file.
